Same Old Song
by jam2599
Summary: KakashiIruka. Life was good, okay, well...decent for Umino Iruka, the twentysomething assistant manager of your friendly neighborhood Hooters. Too bad for him that a couple of gay guys had to open up their own coffee place nearby.
1. Iruka's Trip Across the Street

**Same Old Song**

**Chapter One: Iruka's Trip Across the Street**

Pairings: Kakashi/Iruka

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Notes:

Have you ever worked in a restaurant before?

This story takes place in a Hooters in the U.S. You know, Anytown U.S.A. There may be some discrepancies between Iruka's Hooters and real Hooters, but please bear with me.

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Slightly distressed, Umino Iruka watched 'his girls' visit their morning regulars as he put an assortment of coin rolls in the front register. It looked like the same frat guys that always requested Sakura were talking to her again, showing her some textbook or other. He could hear Temari arguing with one of the cooks in Spanish in the break room, or possibly just chatting pleasantly—he didn't know the language, but they sure were loud. Ino brought some coffee to an old white guy in the smoking section, but no before bumping into Hinata, the new hostess, who shrunk back from the blonde waitress timidly and let her pass. TenTen was late, but she tended to pop out of nowhere and Iruka honestly couldn't remember a day in the last month that he had seen her clock in or out; it was her way, and it frightened some of her customers.

At the age of twenty-six, he was one of the assistant managers of the local Hooters. His boss, Tsunade, had decided to skip out on work that day. Iruka tried to kindly attribute this habit to old age, though he knew that it was actually the result of alcohol and a lazy lifestyle.

His brown eyes scanned the floor and he realized what it was that had been bothering him all morning. It was ten-thirty and there were only five tables in the whole place.

_I know this isn't IHOP or Denny's, _he thought, _but there aren't many breakfast places around here, so we usually get at least a little business in the mornings._

Iruka watched the floor for a few minutes from the register, a frown clear and hard on his face. Hinata joined him at the register and, after a moment of silence, she asked, "Iruka? Is everything okay?"

Oblivious to her concern, he shook his head and said roughly, "No, it's not. We're slow."

"Oh," she said softly before turning to watch the door.

Iruka sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't get it," he muttered after another minute.

Ino's customer walked to the front to pay, and Hinata took care of him while Iruka continued to look around the restaurant. "That waitress is a rude little bitch," the old man said under his breath, glancing at Hinata.

This took Hinata by surprise, and she stared at him for a minute before saying, "I'm so sorry!"

"I'm just saying, that was not good service," he added.

"Um, then I hope you get a new waitress next time!" Hinata tried cheerfully.

He stared at her and shook his head as he left.

Hinata sighed. Her assistant manager's presence was making her nervous, but she couldn't ask him to go away, so she took a breath and turned to face him. "Iruka, I know it's bothering you that we don't have any business, but…"

He looked up and opened his mouth to say something when Ino shouted from the kitchen, "Where the fuck is everyone?"

If there had been any customers in Hooters right then, Iruka would have been furious with Ino. He shared her sentiments right then, though, so he clapped his hands together and walked into the center room.

"Girls, everyone, please come in," he called. Surely enough, Sakura, Ino, Temari, Hinata, and even TenTen joined him in the middle room. He stared at TenTen for a moment before continuing.

"I'm going to have to send at LEAST one of you home for today," he said.

"Fine with me," was Ino's response. "No reason to be here today."

Iruka glanced at his other three waitresses. "Is that okay with you girls?" he asked.

Temari rolled her eyes. "Whatever, I'll stay if you NEED me to," she said, waving at the empty restaurant.

"Well, I…" Iruka started. It would be risky to send too many of his day waitresses home, because there was always a chance, no matter how slim, that a sudden rush would come and leave the remaining waitresses under a lot of stress.

He thought for a moment, and instead of answering the question in Temari's reply, Iruka looked back at his waitresses and Hinata. "Does anyone have any idea as to why we're so empty right now?"

Hinata shook her head. "I haven't been here long, but we usually have a lot more people at this time of day…"

"And there aren't any parades or holidays today," TenTen added, "though a holiday would make it busier but, whatever."

"It's the Sipper," Sakura said.

Iruka stared at her for a moment before she walked to one of the front windows and pointed across the street. "See that place?" she asked, pointing to a recently renovated building done in the style of a 1950's diner, "that, is the Sipper. It's our neighborhood coffee house for gay guys."

Iruka and the others joined her next to the window. After staring at the building for a moment, he asked, "Why would it be them? It's such a little place!"

"I went there last week, for their opening," Sakura said. "The food there is excellent, and there's only one waiter there but damn, he's good. I even got to meet the owners." She turned from the window and shrugged. "Maybe you should check it out."

"With the restaurant empty like this," Iruka said, "I guess I could go look…" he frowned. "Why is there a gay coffee place here? We're not in the gay district!"

"Well, not all gay guys live in the gay district, do they?" Temari asked. "I mean, where do you live, Iruka?"

Iruka flushed red. "That's not the point!"

Sakura laughed a little. "Actually, it's more of a family place. It's pretty nice, once you're inside."

"Well…" _I want to check it out, to see what our competition is like, but I don't want to go there by myself. The waiter might think I'm lonely and talk to me forever… _

Iruka faced his waitresses and Hinata. "Girls, time for a field trip. Now, who wants to pretend to be my girlfriend?"

Ino jumped up and down. "Me! Me!"

He gave her a look. "Didn't I just say you could go home?"

She shrugged. "Would you rather go there with a girl who's on the clock?"

"Well, if you come with me they might think you're a fag hag and that'll give me away, so I'll stick with one of the others."

"He's kind of right, Ino," TenTen affirmed, nodding her head. "You ARE the type."

The blonde waitress pouted but said nothing else.

"I'll go," Sakura offered. "I didn't bring any other clothes with me, though, so if you have a jacket I could borrow…" She waved a hand in the air to let him know she wasn't too interested in the matter.

"I don't really want to," TenTen said. "If I get a customer, I want to be able to jump out and get them stuff!"

"Yeah," Iruka said, slightly derailed, "I've been meaning to talk to you about that habit…"

"If Hinata doesn't want to go, I'll go," Temari offered, glancing at the hostess. "I am the most age-appropriate, after all."

"I-it's okay," Hinata said. "I don't r-really want to go."

Iruka clapped his hands together. "Then, it's settled," he said, "Temari is going to be my fake girlfriend, and Ino is going home." He turned to Temari and said, "Let me get my jacket from the office. Do you want to change…?"

Temari nodded. "I'll be ready in five."

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As the loving couple stepped into The Sipper, Iruka expected to hear techno music. Instead, the small restaurant was filled with the sound of the Beatles', which he still though was pretty gay, but the rest of the restaurant wasn't too bad in his book. Iruka now confirmed what Sakura had told him earlier: there were three families eating together, a few couples, and one loner with silver hair whose face was hidden behind a book.

Iruka's opinion of the Sipper was shaken when the waiter strode up to greet them. He was a little shorter than Iruka, and he had face-framing black hair and cool black eyes. His uniform, or perhaps his club gear, because that was what it looked like to Iruka, consisted of a skin-tight black shirt that was long-sleeved on the right and short-sleeved on the left, and a pair of tight black pants. He smiled at them as if he didn't have a care in the world and asked, "Will it be two for you today? Sorry if you wanted smoking, this is a smoke-unfriendly restaurant."

Iruka was silently glad that he'd brought one of the waitress who didn't smoke. "That would be perfect," he said. "But…" he leaned closer to whisper. "Please not next to the kids."

The waiter nodded, picked up two menus, and brought them to a table near the lone man. "My name is Sai, and I'll be your waiter," he said, laughing a little, "not like you two have a choice. What can I get for you to drink?" Before they could answer, he suggested, "Coffee?"

Iruka nodded and waved him off. "And you, dear?" he asked Temari.

She rolled her eyes. "Coffee's fine," she said before kicking Iruka under the table.

Sai nodded and ran off to the kitchen.

"Now HE'S gay," Temari said.

"I was embarrassed just looking at him," Iruka said under his breath.

The loner sitting next to them looked over his shoulder and Iruka made a mental note to keep his voice down.

When their waiter returned, he dropped off two mugs of coffee and a glass of water for Temari. She stared at it for a moment before smirking at Iruka. "Hah. You didn't get one."

Iruka frowned. "That's bad service."

The silver-haired man stopped reading his book.

"I do drink a lot of water, though," Temari said. She took a sip before looking around the table for sugar and creamer. There were none.

"What the hell?" she asked, looking around at the other tables. Not one table in the restaurant had salt, pepper, or sugar on it.

Iruka started to look for their waiter. "Where'd he go? Even Ino knows better than to give someone coffee and not to give them sugar and creamer! And where's the salt and pepper?"

Temari sighed. "Well, the service isn't good, but…"

"Try it." the silver-haired loner said in a low voice.

Iruka turned to face him. "Are you talking to us, sir?" he asked.

"Try your coffee before you complain. Sometimes, you won't understand until you question just a little more," the loner said without looking up from his book.

Iruka frowned at him as Temari sipped her coffee.

"Wow!" she said.

"What?" Iruka asked, turning around to face her.

She held up the coffee cup for him to see. "It's already sweetened! And there's cream! And it tastes like hazelnut…I love hazelnut! I didn't even know they had syrups here for coffee!"

Skeptical, Iruka lifted his coffee cup and took a small sip. He was surprised to find that the strong black coffee was loaded with sugar. Upon a second inspection, he noted that his coffee was several shades darker than Temari's, cream or no cream.

"Now you understand," the loner said in a bored voice.

Sai walked back to their table and smiled at the couple. "Do you two know what you want to eat, or should I come back in a minute?"

"Oh, we haven't even looked at the menu," Temari said.

Sai nodded and walked off.

Somewhat unsteady, Iruka opened his menu. "Crepes? Cream puffs? Chocolate pancakes?"

"Holy crap, this stuff sounds good," Temari said.

Iruka frowned. "And it's fairly priced, too. Most places like this overcharge like crazy."

Temari smiled. "Well, there's only one waiter to pay. Maybe he's the chef, too!"

The loner laughed quietly.

Sai rejoined them after a minute. "Are you two lovebirds ready?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'll have the crepes with strawberries thing," Iruka said, folding his menu and returning it to their waiter.

"I'll have whatever," Temari said. "Just order something; I trust your judgment." She handed him her menu and he walked off with a smile.

The loner smiled. _Yes. Good boy._

Iruka have hera look. "'I trust your judgment'?" he asked with a snort. "What the hell was that?"

"Shut up!" she hissed at him. "He knew how I liked my damn coffee, okay?"

Sai returned with Iruka's crepes and a waffle with ice cream on top for Temari. "There are hazelnuts and pecans in the waffle," he said, "and I had the cook add caramel syrup on top."

As he turned to leave, Temari grabbed his arm. "Who are you?" she asked, five seconds away from breaking out into shocked laughter.

"Just…a guy making four bucks an hour," he said, leaving them once again with a smile.

"FOUR BUCKS?" Temari hissed at Iruka. "What the…I get two and change, plus tips!"

Iruka shook his head. "I don't know how they can afford it…well, with one waiter, maybe."

"I think he wants a good tip, and he's going to get one, too," Temari said. As Iruka opened his mouth in protest, she said, "Shut up, I don't care, he's like a psychic or something. I couldn't guess stuff like this if my customers asked me to order for them."

"So the service is good, and the food looks good," Iruka said, trying to be objective, "but how does it taste?"

He and Temari unrolled the silverware their waiter had brought them and pulled out their forks. They could each only bring the fork above the food, though.

"I don't want to hurt it," Temari lamented after a few seconds of this.

Iruka rolled his eyes. "Your ice cream is melting."

"I know!"

Iruka took a breath and stabbed his crepe. When no angels died, he picked up his knife and began to cut it into smaller pieces. Temari watched her ice cream melt for another minute before picking up her knife and cutting into her waffle.

They ate in a silent appreciation of their second breakfast, and of The Sipper in general. Temari left ten bucks on the table and Iruka silently agreed with the tip.

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"We're fucked," Iruka said as he sunk into one of the boots near the front of Hooters.

Sakura sat down with him. "Come on, Iruka, that place is new. It only serves breakfast food and desserts, too, so they'll get some of our business, yes, but we won't lose out during dinner time, and people will lose interest in that place in a few weeks. I mean, most of the draw is because it's a gay place."

"No, most of the draw is because they have the BEST FOOD I've ever eaten for breakfast." Iruka laid his head down on his arms in defeat. "Please never tell Naruto anything good about that place, or he'll spend all the money I give him there."

"Where is Naruto, anyway?" Sakura asked.

Iruka shrugged. "Probably at one of his jobs…I can never keep up with him. He mentioned something on the phone last night like 'If I ever needed to, could I move in with you' and now I'm just waiting for the follow-up call, 'Remember that time that I asked if I could move in with you'…"

"So, what did you tell him?"

"What could I tell him?" Iruka asked in shame. "I've always looked out for him, no matter what kind of trouble he's gotten into…" He sighed. "I guess I should clean up my study for him. He'll have to get his own bed, though."

Sakura smiled. "It'll be nice, though, having company in your house. Maybe he'll come work in the kitchen again, too."

Iruka shrugged. "He DID learn a little Spanish when he came here before, you know…"

"Yeah, the cooks," Sakura said. "I'm glad that Temari's fluent. I know some, but I can't keep up with the cooks."

"Tsunade is going to have a fit when she learns about The Sipper," Iruka said, laying his head down again.

"What can she do?" Sakura asked.

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Tsunade drove in at three in the afternoon wearing a baseball cap, sweater, and shades. It was usually slow at three, so Tsunade didn't suspect anything when she walked into a near-empty Hooters.

Hinata greeted her at the door. "Good afternoon, Tsunade. Do you want to eat before you go back to the office?"

The manager laughed. "Hell, I ain't going back there. I'm going to hang out on table 45, okay?" Without waiting for a response, she brushed past her hostess and sat down in one of the front booths. TenTen popped out from behind the booth and nearly scared her out of her hangover.

Iruka caught the sight of his pseudo-boss as he left the kitchen. He froze for a minute, then decided that Tsunade could learn about The Sipper on her own time, if ever.

"Hey, Iruka!" she called to him. Iruka grimaced and joined Tsunade in her booth. When he was sitting, she smiled. "How's business todaty? Did you do anything fun, or were you a good boy like usual?"

"What do you think?" he asked her humorlessly.

"Good boy," she said. "So, I hear you have the next two days off. What are you going to do with them?"

"Well, my friends volunteered to take me out to get plastered tonight, so I'll probably just do that." He doubted that he could trust either Genma or Raido with being the designated driver but oh well, they could always call up Izumi if they needed to. Or a cab, but those were expensive.

"Sounds like fun," she said. "Sounds like last night for me."

"Well, I wouldn't get drunk the night before I had to come to work," he said with malice underling his words.

Tsunade laughed in his face. "No, you wouldn't, because you're…"

"…a good boy," Iruka finished for her.

"Yup…that's why you don't work nights. Anko has more of the…personality." She tapped the cigarettes in her pocket and considered moving to smoking. _When I'm done talking to Boy Scout._ "And Shizune gets the dead days, and the days when I can't come in."

_Won't._ "Well, just three more hours for me," Iruka said. He was tired, even if there hadn't been anything to do all day. He was ready to get away from Hooters for the night.

"Slow, huh?" Tsunade said. Iruka stiffened and nodded.

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It was eight, and Iruka was sitting in the back seat of Genma's car. He was out of his work clothes, and into jeans and a navy polo. And flip flops, Hail Mary! He'd even tied a folded bandana around his forehead, like he'd done back in high school.

Raido played around with the radio. "Hey, Iruka, have you heard the new Busta song?" he asked.

Genma pulled his hand away from the radio. "Stop. Fucking. With that."

"What?" Raido whined. "Can't I find something decent?" As it was, the radio was stuck on a soft rock station.

"I don't care what it is, just find it fast. It messes with my nerves, hearing you change the music every damned minute."

Raido found a Top 40 station and Genma stared at his left hand until it was safely away from the radio.

"So, where are we going?" Iruka asked his high school friends.

"Dance Night," they answered in unison.

"What? A strip club?"

"A GAY strip club," Raido corrected him. "You'll like it, trust me. All the guys there are hot."

"WHAT! No, I am NOT going there!" Iruka shouted in embarrassment.

"Iruka, we're going to Dance Night, it's done, get over it, shut up while I'm driving," Genma ordered.

"Dude, your driving is fucking scary," Raido commented.

"NO!" Iruka shouted again. He leaned forward and said, closer to Genma's face, "I am not going to a place like that! Turn around! I'll go anywhere else, just don't take me there!"

"Iruka!" Genma shouted back. He was about to say something else when he caught Raido's eye. They smiled after a second and Genma took his car off the highway in preparation for a U-turn.

Iruka sat down again and sighed in relief.

Ten minutes later, Iruka found himself walking ever so grudgingly up the front steps of Hooters. He could see Kin, one of the night waitresses, through the door.

"Fuckers," he said under his breath.

Raido laughed at him as he pushed open the door. "Come on, Iruka, you said any place but Dance Night, right? And don't you get a discount here or something?"

Iruka glared at the short-haired man but said nothing. They walked past the front waiting area, which was puzzlingly empty for that time of night, and past a silver-haired cop to the hostess 'podium'.

Anko strode up to them and smirked at Iruka. "You just can't stay away, can you?" she asked.

He frowned in response. "Three for nonsmoking. Can we get Kurenai, by any chance? I don't like most of the night waitresses."

"Kurenai it is," she said, leading them to one of the booths by the front. When their red-eyed waitress approached the table, she smiled at Iruka. "Can't stay away, huh?"

"Yeah," Genma said, putting Iruka into a headlock, "Iruka has put his heart and soul into this place."

"Three beers!" Raido said enthusiastically. Kurenai nodded and walked away.

Once he had freed himself from the headlock, Iruka frowned at his so-called friends. "Why are we here? It's not for the waitresses, is it? I KNOW it's not for the food."

"We're here…to celebrate you," Raido said. "I mean, this place kind of IS your life, isn't it? So we're living it with you. We're living the Hooter's experience!"

Iruka glared at him.

The three men looked up when the silver-haired cop walked up to their table. "It's getting pretty loud over here, isn't it?" he asked in a bored voice.

Genma laughed. "Sorry to disturb the peace, officer…Hatake." he said, reading the cop's badge.

Iruka gave him a confused look. "Did something happen? Who called the cops?"

The cop laughed in response. "Tsunade hired me to work here on the busy nights. Lots of drunks generally don't behave themselves around girls in tight clothes, you see."

He moved to the side so that Kurenai could pass beers around the table. She left them with a smile, without taking their order.

_Damn it, _Iruka thought. He wanted to leave already.

"Nothing compared to strawberry crepes, is it?" officer Hatake asked him directly as he took a drink of beer.

Iruka looked at him puzzled for a moment before realization set in. "You were at The Sipper earlier today!"

"And so were you," officer Hatake replied. He smiled back at Iruka gently, and Iruka noticed that his right eye was dark brown and his right eye was bright red.

"Dude!" Genma said, pointing at Iruka, "you went to The Sipper!"

"So what?" Iruka asked in an annoyed tone.

Raido laughed at him openly. "They, like, papered the gay district a few weeks ago looking for a waiter! I thought about going there once it opened but it sounded kind of cheesy so, you know…"

"It's good," Iruka admitted. "I hate it, but it's good."

"I'm glad you think so," officer Hatake said with a smile. Iruka gave him a confused look before he walked back to the front of the restaurant.

"You know that guy?" Genma asked him.

Iruka shook his head. "He was there, at The Sipper, when I went there with Temari this morning. He didn't say anything to us, hell, I barely remembered him."

Kurenai came back to take their orders, and as soon as she'd left Iruka felt his phone vibrating in his left jeans pocket, humming the song "Dirty Little Secret".

His friends giggled at his ring tone as he pulled out his phone. "Shut up," Iruka spat, "Naruto said that he wanted me to get that ring tone for him, so I did." With that, he opened his phone.

"Naruto, how are things?"

"Uh…"

_Shit._

"Well, Iruka, to be honest I just got kicked out of my apartment. And I got fired today. And, uh, well, I think my car got stolen."

Iruka turned away from his friends and took a few calming breaths.

"Iruka?" he heard Naruto ask on the other end of the line.

"Naruto…where are you?"

"I'm walking to your place. Are you at work right now?"

_Sure, just go on in, make yourself at home. _"No, I'm out with my so-called friends. I'll be back by two. You still have a key, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well, just…sleep on the couch and dump your things in the study. We'll sort this out tomorrow; I have a few days off."

"Iruka, thanks."

"I know."

"No, really, I mean it. Thank you."

Iruka sighed and hung up his phone before turning around to face Genma and Raido.

Raido cracked a smile. "So, your son's coming back home?"

The dark-skinned man glared. "Don't call him that."

"You're going to get him a job again, aren't you?" Genma asked.

Iruka nodded. _I just hope that he'll be able to keep it._

And that was the day that Iruka went across the street.

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	2. Iruka's Ultimatum

**Same Old Song**

**Chapter Two: Iruka's Ultimatum**

Pairings: Kakashi/Iruka

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Notes:

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Shortly after Iruka and his friends had left, Kakashi wandered over to the front register where Anko was tapping on a computer screen. He walked to the side of the register and snuck a peak at the screen.

She was playing solitaire.

"Not working too hard, huh?" he asked. A short distance away, one of the night waitresses, Kin, was yelling at a group of men sitting at one of her tables for requesting another waitress. Anko glanced over and shrugged.

"I try not too," she said with a smile. As if she'd remembered something, Anko's smile turned into a smirk and she looked at the cop. "I saw you talking to another one of our assistant managers, Iruka."

Kakashi looked up from the screen. "He works here?"

Anko nodded. "He does mornings, I do evenings. So, what were you two talking about?"

"He visited my restaurant this morning," Kakashi said in a dull voice. "I just wanted to ask if he--"

"Wait," Anko said, cutting him off. "Your restaurant?"

Kakashi nodded. "I'm one of the owners of a little place nearby, maybe you've heard of it…it's called The Sipper."

She shrugged. "Never been there. Okay, okay, so you were talking to Iruka before, right? What'd you think of him?"

"Think of him?" Kakashi asked.

Anko studied his face for a moment. She wasn't sure if she should have continued or not…but she and Tsunade had grown a little worried by Iruka's lack of a social (or sex) life in the years they had known him. They knew he was gay because he'd told them, though they'd first heard from Ino who swore she had straight-girl-gaydar (a term they used around her for several weeks to make fun of its idiocy), but since that time none of them had seen him with another man, barring his two idiot friends, or heard about his romantic exploits. Hell, Anko sometimes _forgot _that he was gay because, well, if he wasn't dating anyone then he wasn't dating _guys_, right?

So she wanted to point her friend, the cop, in Iruka's direction, but at the same time…she wasn't sure if her coworker would have appreciated it. She didn't want to insult him or make him feel like he needed help getting a life (though she really thought he did) and she also wasn't sure if Kakashi would even be interested.

But Anko was not an overly-cautious person, so she gave Kakashi a smile. "Yeah, do you think you'd like to get to know him better?"

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When Iruka came into Hooters the next week to open the restaurant and start his managerial work for the day, he checked the schedule like he always did, to make sure that his waitresses got the hours they wanted more than anything. Tsunade made the schedule, and he really didn't think that she took the waitresses feelings into account sometimes. After all, he knew when all of their birthdays and anniversaries were, and there was no way that he'd make his girls work on those days, because he was Umino Iruka, Super-Assistant-Manager!

So he checked over the schedule for that week. He was glad to see that Naruto had been added to the schedule, though his name was written with what appeared to be green crayon, which puzzled Iruka. He quickly glanced at his own name and walked away from the schedule.

Iruka retraced his steps four seconds later and looked harder this time.

UMINO IRUKA

SUN----

MON5 PM-CLOSE

TUE5 PM-CLOSE

WED5 PM-CLOSE

THUR 5 PM-CLOSE

FRI6 PM-CLOSE

SAT6 PM-CLOSE

He stared at the schedule, trying to figure out what had happened. He thought that maybe Anko had gotten sick, or had been in a car wreck, so he looked at her name.

She'd taken his hours!

Iruka found the cordless phone in his office as soon as he could and he called Tsunade. She picked up after the seventh ring. "Hey, Boy Scout. What's up?" she asked.

He tried to remain calm. "Tsunade, I just looked at the schedule for this week and--"

"Hey, we just wanted to mix things up, okay?" Tsunade asked. She looked over the stack of The Sipper coupons Anko had given her, a bribe from the cop to change the schedule. "Don't want you to get bored or anything."

"How could you do this without asking me first?" he asked, anger seeping into his voice.

"Look, stuff happens, okay? Oh, Anko called me, and she's on her way there. Be a doll and leave before she gets there, okay, hun?" And with that, his boss hung up on him.

Iruka stared at the phone for a moment before slamming it down onto the office desk. He sank into his chair and held his head in his hands.

_Why is she doing this?_

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None of the day waitresses knew what to think of Anko's presence. Hinata actually tried to seat her when she saw her that morning because she had no idea as to who she was. Sakura, who had met her before, strode up and introduced Anko to the newest member of their 'family'.

Now that he had a few hours to blow, Iruka went home. He turned on the TV and watched it in a daze for a few minutes.

_Did I do something that Tsunade would want to punish me for? That can't be it, can it? She's always calling me Boy Scout, and she's said before that I never do anything wrong._

_Maybe she just doesn't like me, so she's picking on me._

He was broken out of his daze when Naruto left the study in search of food. He still hadn't bought a bed for himself, and Iruka had the feeling that Naruto didn't have the money necessary for doing so. He'd used Iruka's old army cot for the last few nights.

Naruto stared at him for a moment, and Iruka gave him an unhappy look. Naruto's eyes shot open and he dropped to his knees at the end of the sofa, clasping his hands togther.

"Iruka, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not tell me that you got fired!" he cried. Iruka eyed his dependent in his checkered shorts and Bert and Ernie tee-shirt (honestly, where did he buy his clothes?) with distaste and rolled his eyes.

"No, I didn't get fired. Oh, Tsunade put you on the schedule starting tomorrow." Iruka sighed.

Naruto jumped onto the sofa next to him then, and Iruka hoped that he wouldn't break the damn thing by the end of his stay. "Oh, so you're playing hooky?" his dependent asked, eyes fixed on the television screen.

Iruka glared at him. "No, I'm not 'playing hooky', Naruto. It wouldn't be right for me to do that." He waited for a response, but his dependent didn't seem too interested. "I got moved to nights, for this week."

"Really?" Naruto asked. "Why? Did you want to sleep in?"

Iruka shook his head. _I don't know why either!_

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He came into work half an hour early that day, still as edgy as he'd been that morning. To his surprise, he was met by a chipper Anko at the door.

"Hey, Boy Scout!" she called out as he approached the restaurant. Upon closer inspection, Iruka noted that the dark-haired woman looked rather tired. When he'd reached the door, Iruka rolled his eyes and Anko grinned widely. "What, you couldn't be late on your first day of the evening shift?"

He walked past her and looked around the restaurant, checking to see which girls were still on the floor. "I don't see why I would've been late," he muttered.

"Of course not!" she shouted after him. "You're the Boy Scout!"

Iruka gave her a look. _What the hell's wrong with being on time, paying your bills, not sleeping around…?_

Anko smiled back.

For as long as Iruka could remember of the time he'd spent working at Hooter's, the other managers (primarily Tsunade and Anko) had gotten about his case and ridiculed him for 'being too responsible', which didn't make any sense to Iruka. He didn't see the up-side of Tsunade's drinking and gambling habits, or Anko's tendency to sleep with the oddest, most frightening men she could find, or her exotic knife collection for that matter. He'd thought that he'd gotten along well with the 'uptight' Shizune until she gave him a brief talking-to one day about 'trying to find good, clean, decent men and not always staying at home by yourself on Saturday nights'.

Iruka sat down in one of the corner booths of the front room and tried to hide as best he could, a habit that had grown on him from his days of being an assistant manager. He didn't really expect any customers to recognize him and try to talk to him or bitch at him, but there was always a chance…

As he watched the door, he realized that the dinner rush had begun. _Oh, just go home! _He thought. _Spend time with your families, read the bible, write a novel, just go home and eat the food in your fridge that you bought for a decent price._

"Mind if I join you?" came a deep, familiar voice.

Iruka looked up to see Officer Hatake from the night before, and from The Sipper, standing at his table in his uniform. He regarded the cop warily for a moment before the silver-haired man casually dropped down beside him, his poor posture sending chills down Iruka's better-conditioned spine. Iruka sat up, partly out of the desire to not spread his body out so far through the booth, so close to the other man, and partly because it just didn't look good for him to sit like that.

_I'll set an example for him. Maybe he'll learn how to sit._

"How's it going?" the cop asked conversationally. More than ready to unload his emotional burden, Iruka sighed.

"Pretty bad," he admitted. "I went home for my couple of days off, and when I came in for work this morning I learned that my boss came and changed my schedule—out of nowhere. I've worked mornings for the last…well, forever, really. I don't see why the schedule was changed, and my boss didn't give me a straight answer, so…"

Kakashi cast his eyes skyward in a bored fashion. "Well, it's not like you'll have to change your sleeping patterns or anything." He sent Iruka a sideways glance. "Or is there something you usually do in the evening? Maybe an organization you're a part of, or a sport you play? Are you a partier?"

"Well, no, I usually just watch TV, and I'm certainly not a partier--" Iruka cut himself off and gave the cop a look. "Well, what do you care, anyway? I mean, you don't really want to know what I do in the evenings, do you?"

The silver-haired man shrugged. "Who knows. I was just interested, that's all." He sent Iruka another odd sideways glance. "So you don't like to go out a lot?"

Iruka moved a little farther from Kakashi in the booth. "Well, that's really not your business--"

"That's a yes."

"—so what, there's nothing good to do at parties anyway--"

"Besides picking up people--"

Iruka flushed and leaned forward. "Look, we've just met, and that's not really an appropriate thing to talk about--"

Their conversation was interrupted when a shadow fell across their table. Iruka looked up to see Ino, of all people, standing over their table with a notepad and a pen in hand. There was a very, VERY interested look on the blonde's face as she stared at Iruka. When his only response was to stare back with his mouth open and a red stain across his entire face, she cleared her throat and asked, "So, would you two like anything to drink?"

"Just coffee," Kakashi answered with a small smile. Iruka shook his head and waved her off.

"She's cute," the cop said when Ino was out of earshot. The only response he received was an agitated look and a sigh.

"I wonder when Ino's getting off the floor," Iruka muttered.

Kakashi shrugged and leaned towards him. "Okay," he said, counting points off with his fingers, "so I get that you're not the partying or cruising type. So, do you just stay at home? Do you have a dog?"

"No, I don't have a dog, and I like going out just as much as the next guy," Iruka answered. The cop was making him uncomfortable with his mildly-meddling questions and his casual expression. "I just don't go out looking for guys."

Kakashi smiled and Iruka clapped his hand over his own mouth, wishing he could just take back that one last word.

"A-hah," the silver-haired man said, "there we have it; you like guys. You know, you kind of gave me that one all on your own."

Iruka narrowed his eyes. "Look, Officer Hatake--"

"Call me Kakashi."

"…Kakashi," Iruka corrected himself. Was it right to call him by his first name? He wanted to distance himself from this man as quickly as he could, and he supposed that pleasing the cop at that moment could possibly help him achieve that goal more quickly. "It's nice that you would want to talk to me, and it's been nice talking to you, but I need to finish getting ready for work, so…" He stood and held out his hand. Kakashi regarded it with a blank look for a moment, so Iruka retracted the hand he'd intended to shake Kakashi's hand with, thereby hopefully ending any kind of casual contact between the two and changing their relationship to one that was more professional. He waited in front of the silver-haired cop for a moment before bustling off, his skin hot and his fists clenched hard.

Kakashi waved at his retreated form. "I'll talk to you in a while!" he called after Iruka.

Iruka tried to spend most of the evening shift in the little office reserved for managers. He watched the activity in the restaurant through the television screens that were fed security footage from throughout Hooters, and he'd instructed the night hostess to get him if there were any problems. Iruka had considered giving her his keys so that she would be able to resolve most of said problems without him, but he'd rethought it and decided that that would have been too irresponsible. She called him out of his office a few times during the evening shift, and each time he smiled at Kakashi where the cop waited by the front, took care of whatever business had to be taken care of, then sat the next person who came through the door and ran back to the office without speaking to Kakashi.

_Five more nights of this, _he thought during one such trip. He avoided Kakashi's eyes as best he could. His behavior was rude, he'd admit that much, but sometimes certain steps had to be taken…to…

Iruka shook his head. He glanced out the window as he fixed one of the tickets that Kurenai had botched (or so the customer said; he assumed, of course, that Kurenai was correct and that the group of five overweight men in front of him had in fact ordered and eaten all of the food on their ticket) and spotted a car in a certain shade of teal. A shiver ran down his spine and he checked the license plate number quickly before looking away.

_Good._

He smiled at the 'spokesman' for the five customers. "Sorry about that," he said. "Kurenai probably just made a little mistake when she typed your order in."

_A mistake one of you should have caught before you ate whatever it was that she brought you._

"It's okay, now that it's fixed," one of them grunted, his eyebrows knit together. Iruka let himself feel disgusted at how the men in front of him came to Hooters, and almost certainly other places as well, to eat themselves to death.

_Well, _he thought, _I'm the one hoping they'll come in to provide revenue for the restaurant._ He smiled unintentionally and finished taking care of their bill.

The men left the restaurant in a bad mood and Iruka caught sight of Kakashi when they'd gone. The cop smiled at him and asked, "Are you okay?"

Iruka shrugged. "Yeah, I just have to go to…office work," he said half-heartedly before running off.

Kakashi watched his back, completely confused. He was really, really starting to wonder why Anko had told him about Iruka.

_She said he was shy, not that he didn't like to talk to anyone, _he thought with a frown. _He doesn't seem like any fun._

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Iruka awoke at ten the next morning. He panicked for a moment and wondered why his alarm had failed to go off before realizing that he'd work the evening shift again that day. The brown-skinned man stretched in bed and looked around his room in a daze.

He suddenly remembered that Naruto was at his apartment and that that day was the first day for the blonde man to work at his Hooters in quite some time. Iruka nearly jumped out of bed when he realized that he hadn't set an alarm for Naruto, and he threw open his bedroom door before searching his apartment for him.

One minute later, he knew that the blonde was gone. The car was gone, too, though Iruka didn't remember giving Naruto the keys. He knew that his longtime dependent had probably just taken them from his nightstand, as quietly as he could, without any regard for Iruka's schedule. It was Naruto, though, and Iruka wasn't too surprised by that sort of thing…it was just his way.

Iruka sat on his bed again and picked up his cell phone from its place on his nightstand…or attempted to before realizing that Naruto had knocked it to the floor upon procuring his keys, charger and all. Iruka snatched his phone off the floor, wiped the carpet-germs on his pajama pants (which he then pulled off in disgust, leaving him in boxers and a t-shirt), and called Genma. It was his day off, anyway.

His friend picked up after three rings. "What's up, Iruka?"

Iruka tried to do away with his pride. "I need a ride to work," he said after a moment.

"…did your car get stolen?"

He pondered that question for a moment. He knew that Genma would probably make fun of him if he said yes, and would ask a lot of questions if he said no, but he'd already let him know that Naruto was at his place so he just said, "Naruto. Keys. Gone."

"Oh," Genma said with inflection, as if to let Iruka know that yes, he could connect the dots. "Well, you'll have to spank your son when you get home."

"Fuck you."

Genma laughed. "Touchy touchy. You need to go to work now? I think you're late, buddy."

Iruka sighed and looked at his clock. "I would be late if Tsunade hadn't moved me to evenings. I'll need to go in a couple of hours; I'll call you before then."

"Sure thing," Genma said before hanging up.

Iruka pressed the little red phone icon on his 'end call' key, though he didn't need to, and shut his phone before tapping it against his forehead. _Honestly, Naruto, what were you thinking?_

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At the moment, Naruto was actually trying his damn hardest to remember Spanish. He could feel it coming back as he listened to the cooks, but there were some words he couldn't quite remember…

He snuck a glance at Sakura as she put together a drink order. Naruto had first met the pink-haired waitress when Iruka had given him a job as a cook a few years ago. He'd fallen in love with every aspect of her…her looks, her voice, her brain, how she could command people…she was the kind of girl he knew that people fell in love with and fought over, one you couldn't let get away.

"Oye, Sakura," he said. As soon as she turned around and raised an eyebrow, he called out, "Da me un beso!"

She rolled her eyes and walked away. One of the cooks laughed and elbowed him in the ribs. An older cook glared at him for using his native language as a means for joking around with a girl.

Ino walked through the kitchen and she glanced at Naruto. He nodded at her. Though he liked Sakura, he'd spent…time…with Ino before. His heart started to beat faster when he saw her pull something out of her pocket. Naruto averted his eyes when she threw it at him and caught the condom without looking.

If anyone had walked into the dry storage room ten minutes later, they would have found two attractive blondes screwing as fast as they could against one of the shelves—a health code violation, on many accounts. Neither of them cared, though.

Naruto didn't even know why this had started. As far as he knew, he was the only other Hooters employee Ino chose to fuck with, ever. He liked it, though, the casual screw sessions that began with Ino walking past the line of cooks, her violet wedge sandals clacking on the tile, and end with the two of them leaving the dry storage room together, trying to make sure their clothes were straight.

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Iruka sighed as he watched the floor in the manager's office that night. He'd told Naruto to work until closing out of anger, though he'd felt a little guilty when his dependent had gladly accepted the extra shift for the money. It didn't help that he was still avoiding Kakashi at all costs.

He watched the silver-haired cop chat with the night hostess. They stopped talking for a moment, and she laughed. Iruka sat forward in his chair, not sure of what was going on between them, when the night hostess pointed over her shoulder, directly at the camera he was watching them through.

Kakashi smiled at the camera and waved casually, then turned back to the night hostess and said something. She left Iruka's line of sight for a moment before returning with a marker and a piece of paper. Kakashi took them, thanked her, and used the counter to write something down.

Iruka tilted his head to the side and squinted as he tried to discern the content of Kakashi's message. He knew soon enough, though, when the cop raised the piece of paper and blocked the rest of the camera's view with it.

The paper said:

CAN IRUKA COME OUT AND PLAY?

Iruka stared at the question for a moment before hitting his forehead and forcing himself out of the office. He smiled sheepishly at Kakashi and the silver-haired man lowered the piece of paper. The night hostess laughed at him when he blushed a little at his own foolishness.

"You got me," Iruka said, holding his hands up in surrender. He slowly walked up to Kakashi as the cop smiled back at him, knowing all too well that Iruka was plainly trying to avoid him. Iruka gave a weak smile and clapped his hands together before asking, "What can I do you for, Officer Hatake?"

Placing his sign on the counter, Kakashi said off-handedly, "Well, I was wondering if you were doing alright in that office. It seems like they keep you pretty busy in there."

Iruka frowned. _Not busy enough. _"Well, Officer Hatake--"

"Kakashi."

The silver-haired cop crossed his arms as he was struck by deja-vu. Iruka seemed jumpy around him and he couldn't see why. He'd just wanted a conversation.

The frown on Iruka's face deepened and Iruka's heart began to race uneasily. _Just a few nights with this guy, that's all…_ "Well, I have some work to do, and--"

Just as Iruka had begun to back track the path to his office, Kurenai ran up to him from the back of the restaurant. "Iruka!" she shouted, worry settling badly on her beautiful face, "I haven't been able to find you! The cooks ran out of a few things in the back and Naruto went missing again!"

Iruka turned from the temporary annoyance with silver hair and assumed Manager Mode. His mouth tightened into a frown that was more ordered and stern, and less frustrated. "Jeez, that kid. Alright, do all of the waitresses know what we're out of?"

Kurenai nodded. "There's a trainee, though. She's already forgotten about it a few times, so I've been trying to shadow her but--" as she glanced towards the back of the restaurant, a few men sitting at a table of eleven raised their glasses. She smiled as politely as she could before turning back to Iruka. "But it's just too busy for that right now." The brunette sighed and took a step to the right so Iruka's body blocked her customers' view of her.

Iruka let her do as she wanted and glanced at Kakashi out of the corner of his eye. If Naruto had skipped out or gone out of the restaurant then he knew he'd probably end up throwing on an apron and going to the kitchen himself. His chance to escape to his office had been ruined.

Kakashi watched as Iruka sighed and turned back to Kurenai. The dark-skinned man said a few soft words and threw him a glance before practically running to the back of the restaurant. Once Iruka was out of sight, Kakashi looked around the floor for the drunk and the disorderly, absentmindedly picked up his sign and throwing it into the garbage. There hadn't been too much in that last glance between them, and he'd begun to wonder what those women had been going on about.

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Kakashi held himself at a distance after that night. His current pursuit seemed to enjoy it, though he never said so, and breathed a sigh of relief every time he was able to pass Kakashi in the restaurant without a word passing between them. This little action caught his attention every time and he'd decided that Iruka didn't want his company.

He shook that thought from his head as he lounged on one of the benches in the waiting area. _No, he's just shy. I know his type…the cute ones, the ones that stay home or volunteer or go to church. They'll always pull back a little. They're the ones that really enjoy the attention the most…the ones that blush and look away._

In the past few nights he'd spent working under the same roof as Iruka, the two had not spoken much but Kakashi had managed to get a few facts about the 'shy' manager.

Iruka had not dated in quite some time.

Iruka was gay…most of the Hooters staff agreed on this. When the silver-haired cop had made his way to the kitchen and asked the cooks, one of them had looked at him with an expression reserved for politicians of radical ideologies and asked, "Que? El es maricon?"

Kakashi had shrugged and walked away, not wanting to stir up trouble for Iruka.

He had seen two of Iruka's friends. They'd been the bachelor type; he'd known right away. Guys who should have been married or the equivalent, but who hadn't grown up enough for it. That was alright with Kakashi.

He was a bachelor for life.

Kakashi looked up when Iruka left the office for a few minutes and, to his surprise, settled down behind the register. The night hostess glanced at him before running off, probably to sit down or smoke or both. When the register was free, Iruka leaned against it and tilted his head to the side to look over the restaurant.

Kakashi looked away while he considered the dark-skinned man. Iruka was attractive, and not just physically; although he had been anything but amiable with the cop, he seemed to 'be of good moral fiber', the responsible type. The worrying type. Iruka was plenty stand-offish, though.

He closed his eyes as he heard Iruka leave the register and come closer. Weight settled down on the bench next to him and he turned to look at the other man lazily. Apprehension weighed down on Iruka's face, and as he opened his mouth to say something Kakashi tirelessly raised a hand.

"Yeah, I know," Kakashi said, stilling Iruka's words in his throat. "We got off on the wrong foot and stuff, right?"

Iruka frowned and closed his mouth for a moment before replying, "Well…yes. You don't need to say it like that, though." He took a sip of coffee from a Styrofoam cup and swirled the clear brown liquid around in its vessel as he glanced around the restaurant nervously. Kakashi waited and waited and after a few minutes Iruka turned back to him. "Officer Hatake…"

"Kakashi."

Iruka nodded. He'd been waiting for that correction, and Kakashi seemed to be a little fed up with offering it every damned night. He continued. "Kakashi, look. You don't…know me, so you're probably upset that I've been ignoring you…"

Kakashi sat up a little, waiting for Iruka to continue. When the other man said nothing else, Kakashi put on his Alright face and smiled. "It's okay. You're a shy guy, aren't you, Iruka?" Without waiting for a reply Kakashi turned his body to face Iruka fully and smiled. "Tonight's your last night, isn't it?"

"I'm going back to mornings after this, yeah," Iruka answered with a sigh. _No more evening cop bullshit._

"Well, then, I guess that I need to get you a going-away present."

Iruka narrowed his eyes as Kakashi pulled a The Sipper business card out of his pocket. Before he could ask about the card, though, Kakashi turned it over and wrote ten numbers and two little lines on the back. Iruka closed his mouth and dumbly accepted the business card before looking back at Kakashi, who smiled in return.

"What's this?" he asked uneasily.

Kakashi stretched out on the bench and put one arm behind Iruka. Brown eyes flickered to the offending appendage in irritation but it was not moved. "That's my phone number," the silver-haired cop answered him.

Iruka set the card in his lap and tried to remain calm. "Why would you give me your phone number?" he asked uneasily.

Kakashi smiled and yawned. "So we can go on that hot date I've been trying to get out of you," he said. Iruka's face turned red at the admission but Kakashi continued to watch him in increasingly good humor, despite his confession. The dark-skinned manager's mouth opened for a few seconds and closed as he narrowed his eyes, turning to look outside the restaurant window. Busy car-and-people-and-machine noises filled the air but he couldn't focus on any of them as he tried to think of a way to say no.

…and yet he'd fallen into a routine.

_Let's stay together, Iruka._

_I could just lie here all day with you…_

_You're the only person…_

Iruka shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself unconsciously. Kakashi frowned, wondering if his appeal had sickened the other man somehow—it had been a cheesy way to go about it, maybe a little desperate, probably not in Iruka's tastes—and he reconsidered the whole deal. If he had known what was going through Iruka's head, he most likely would have called it off. The reason for this is that Iruka decided to answer Kakashi's request not because of the man sitting next to him, but for a superficial reason, a childish reason really. His thoughts and feelings did not play into his decision. Rather, it was fear that drove him to answer as he did, similar to the anxiety that had made him stay out of Kakashi's company before.

_We weren't meant for each other, and neither are Kakashi and I. You'll see, Mizuki._

Iruka turned to face the panicky Kakashi firmly. "A-alright, Kakashi. I'll go out with you."

Kakashi stared at him in surprise. "…really?"

"Yes," Iruka said, trying to take a breath, and to relax, so that he wouldn't look so bizarre in Kakashi's eyes. "I'll go out on a date with you, whenever, wherever…but you have to agree to a condition first."

The other man frowned. "Condition? What kind of condition?" He didn't like the formal manner in which Iruka was discussing their date. It seemed as if there was no difference between the Iruka who sat before him, and the one who'd run himself through the restaurant at breakneck speed the night before taking food orders to ensure that Hooters didn't lose business when the new girl didn't show up.

Iruka took another breath and said, as slowly and gently as he could, "I need to be honest with you. I don't want to date anyone long-term." When Kakashi raised an eyebrow, Iruka just shook his head and continued, holding up his hands to defend his audacity. "I don't know if that's what you wanted but I can't have that, not at all. So you have to accept the fact that I'm not interested in a real relationship."

Kakashi laughed a little, holding his mouth behind one hand.

"What is it?" Iruka asked, his face reddening in embarrassment. He'd been honest, and he didn't appreciate Kakashi's response.

The silver-haired man shook his head. "You took me by surprise," he admitted, turning to face Iruka again. "I didn't think you were the type to…"

Iruka narrowed his eyes and looked away. "I'm not any TYPE, okay? I just…want to have fun, and that's it. Nothing more."

Kakashi nodded. "I can do fun," he said, watching Iruka for a response. Brown eyes slowly made their way to his, but Iruka looked away quickly when Kakashi smiled comfortingly, leaning forward so he could rest more weight on the arm behind the dark-skinned man's back.

And that was Iruka's Ultimatum.

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